Sunday, July 31, 2011

Passion Confusion

     I want to do a lot of things. I know I need to do a lot of things. But somehow, I can't start a  thing. Or maybe, I have already started something but I'm having difficult time continuing and finishing. Sometimes I have so many things in my head and I feel like I don't have the whole day to get them done. Sometimes I feel like 24 hours is just too short.
Here are just some things on my list:
1. Finish the new book I bought (Once and future king)
2. Another new book (How to Conquer Your Goliaths)
3. And another new book (How to Turn Thoughts into Things). So, how am I supposed to finish my 2nd and 3rd book?
4. Exercise to lose weight. I gained a few pounds starting January this year. And I'm planning to have a baby!
5. Plan for my high school's reunion. Oh yes, I am supposed to be in-charge. The reunion will be in December 2012.
6. Help my husband with the business. We are already in a struggling situation, I think.
7. Research more about stocks. Oh, yes I'm planning of buying some.
8. Write a book. I still don't know the plot but the idea is in my head already.
9. Update photos. Develop our wedding photos and the photos thereafter. 
10. Nourish my spirit. I need a daily journal and a regular prayer time.
      
      I guess I'm already starting my tenth with this blog. I feel like writing will help me improve my thoughts and my perspectives on things which matter the most. Like for instance, last week I slept as late as 12 midnight every night  just to play Virtual Villagers4. The game is quite addicting. It didn't occur to me that I've been playing for 3 hours straight. Oh, my goodness. I come home at 8PM every night, eat dinner, and play villagers. I'm a wife meaning I have to take care of my husband and give him quality time. We still live with our parents meaning I have to look after their needs and check their health, the house supplies and other issues related to our living. Its a realization to give up long hours of play to gain the other more important hings, So I paused the game. And I decided to assess my life right now. Where I am and where I am heading. Being a responsible person was my second name before my addiction began. I want to redeem myself from this vices if I want to live an orderly and peaceful life. My desire to write my thoughts is a process to rehabilitate myself. Rather than gaming, I want to spend my time into more meaningful obsession. I am hoping that through this I'll be able to connect with my inner self and once again regain my able, reliant and dependable self. 
     These are only ten aspirations I have at this moment. But I know I wasn't made to accomplish only these few. The list can go up to hundreds but before that happens I'll make sure I have finished this first ten first.  
      

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